We take our road trips to escape a place we feel unsettled in.
We travel to ease the disquiet and to search for a better way.
So far, we've found few answers. Though the journey has been fun, the constant uncertainty, the state of limbo we are in, causes a bit of anxiety.
Perhaps it is a case of cold feet.
There is something difficult about settling in a spot surrounded by so much land. A bit of the sea nearby would surely be lovely.
It is true, I come from a state smack in the center of the country. A wonderful state to be sure. We had twisters, I recall. Huge ones. Those kept us busy every spring. And there are a touch of mountains here and there. Peaceful country roads. Lakes. Loads of them.
And here, now, we find roads. Very long ones. Endless it seems.
Most recently, however, we've found...
It is what hovers around empty, voiceless faces that crash into us at the grocery store. The dust we stand sputtering in, as we stand protecting our children from the parking lot crazies. Or that which swirls on the back porch, where a bicycle, now gone to thieves, once stood... Clouds of it kicked up when large stands of historic trees are felled for the sake of a giant concrete slab...
What fills our pockets, after forking over a small fortune to stake our tiny claim on... even more dust.
These things, seemingly small, mount up bit by bit.
We might expect to come unhinged, were it not for our hopeful spirits and a glimpse of the sea on a very distant horizon.
It happens from time to time, this cynicism. It'll be gone by sunrise. The steam from my coffee cup and the scent of rain on the children's hair will flatten the confusion.
Little smiles. The one person out of thousands who holds the door when the babies struggle and slip. A knowing glance from someone else who sputters in the dust. We need each other it seems.
The blocks, multicolored and many-shaped, my daughter and I stack to the sky... Our little boy's "Kung Fu Panda" impression... Big daughter's music, joyous laughter, the radiant smile. And that thing that happens to the husband when he wants to be aggravated at the raucousness of monkeybabies, but can't help a grin, a giggle and hearty laugh, because they are so darn cute!
The stars, how they do shine so in winter...
Keep it simple.